Vegan: It's what's for dinner

Since becoming a vegan, eating over at friends' homes has been a learning process, both for the host and for me. Before my "conversion", the family cook would prepare some kind of meat, and that's what would be for dinner, for everyone at the table. Now, the process includes, "So, what do you eat these days?"

Typically, the meals served consist of "add-ons" for me -- vegan side dishes to complement what everyone else is eating. And typically, the reason for the "add-on" to the centerpiece meat dish is "the kids". For example, early last week, fettuccini with marinara was the "add-on" to go with the cheese ravioli, chicken cacciatore, and baked fish. And on Friday at a friend's birthday dinner, there was a well-stocked salad, but edamame was the "add-on" for me, as a substitute for the baked chicken.

Eating in the homes of friends, I've learned to not ask questions. I let the cook cook, and then eat whatever is served with no questions or complaints. We may talk about the butter, milk or eggs they added to the dish afterwards, but trying to educate a carnivore on a vegan diet while they're rushing around the kitchen is not the best way to maintain a friendship. I've grown accustomed to looking for "my dish", and appreciating my friends' "add-on" attempts to accommodate my dietary choice.

Thus, I was surprised last week when I had dinner with friends whom I've not seen for a while. They purchased a new home and invited me for dinner. The last time we shared a meal I was a carnivore and they were married with one child. Two more children and vegan-me later, she wanted to cook. Through email, she tried to wrap her mind around what I now eat.
- "Can I bring something?" I asked.
- "Sure, bring dessert, something simple like fruit or jello."
I referred her to my jello blog. What would I be eating for dinner?

When I arrived, she was busy in the kitchen chopping and mashing. Dad gave me the tour. While he took the youngest one (19 months) for a walk to get her to nap, I played with the two boys (ages 7 & 3). When dad returned, he asked the question I had been waiting for.
- "What's for dinner?"
- "Vegan shepherd pie" came the kitchen response.
I was waiting for the other dishes that would go with this vegan "add-on", but to my surprise, there weren't any. Vegan shepherd pie would be "what's for dinner"... for everyone.

And it was a dinner that was enjoyed by everyone. It was excellent! The oldest polished off his plate and scooped up seconds, while the youngest one managed to get more in her mouth than on her face. Dad, who didn't care for the texture of the topping, did like the vegetable-bean filling, and scooped under the cauliflower-millet mixture to get his seconds, and his thirds.
- "This is definitely going into the dinner rotation," mom announced.
- "With no topping on part of it, please" came dad's rebuttal.

It was only the 3 year old who wasn't in the mood to eat his dinner. My friends have raised their kids to eat what is served them. "They have a choice," my friend says. "They can choose to eat what mom has made or not, and if not, they can go to sleep hungry. It's their choice." And since the choice of "no dinner" is also a choice of "no dessert", the kids have learned to eat and enjoy what's on their plate.

Thus, with food still on his plate, and mom opening up for the other two kids the vegan chocolate chip cookies I brought, he finished what he needed to eat (with a little help from me, feeding him), and he enjoyed his cookie (and a second one, too!)

Since becoming a vegan, eating over at friends' homes has been a learning process. My hosts for dinner this past week learned that vegan meals are not only healthy, but yummy and easy to prepare. I learned that eating vegan doesn't need to be an "add-on" to a meal for carnivores. It can be the whole meal! Kids are not the only ones who eat what they have learned to eat.