What's a vegan to do?

I feel slightly devious, but what's a vegan to do?

I am visiting my sister and her family in Southern California. My sister and brother-in-law were to be at a party tonight, but because he is not feeling well, he stayed at home with me, my nephew, and one of my nieces while my sister headed to the party with the youngest of the three.

She fixed dinner before heading out - a pasta casserole with sausage topped with cheese, bread sticks, and an assortment of raw veggies. While the kids and their dad ate what mom prepared, I enjoyed leftover Indian saag tofu (a vegan version of my favorite Indian dish, saag paneer which I made earlier this week).

While my 7 year-old nephew began his meal devouring the fresh cut yellow bell peppers, my 5 year-old niece enjoyed her bread stick before tackling her raw carrots. When it came time to eat the casserole, both picked at it.

My brother-in-law made it very clear that he wanted both of his children to eat everything that was on their plate. My nephew wanting to get back to his legos finished the casserole, and ended his meal with the bread stick. My niece however continued to pick at the only thing left on her plate, the casserole. And as she picked, she picked out the sausage, much to the chagrin of her father.
- "Dear, I want you to eat everything, including your meat."
- "Daddy, I don't like the meat," she replied.
- "I want you to eat your meat."

As he walked back into the kitchen, that was that. As we cleaned around her, my niece continued to pick and sit there, and eventually she was alone.

My brother-in-law received a call from a friend who needed some medicine for their sick infant. Though he wasn't feeling well, he said he would drop it off. His last request before heading out the door = "I want you to finish everything on your plate. I want you to eat your meat."

An hour after dinner started, my niece was still at the table picking the meat out of her casserole. In between my lego creating with my nephew, I checked on her, and saw her neat little pile of meat grow. What to do?
- If I feed her (which I have done since she was a baby), she would eat everything, including the meat she did not want. Vegan-me would not feel comfortable doing that.
- If I let it slide and dismiss her from the table, I would undermine my brother-in-law's parental role and his desire for his daughter (who has never liked meat) to eat meat.

Though I love and respect my brother-in-law, I decided to intervene before he returned, and let my niece finish up the vegetarian meal she created by picking out the meat. I pushed aside all the rest of the meat, and separated out the noodles and sauce. "You don't have to eat the meat," I told her. "Just eat the noodles and you'll be done." And in a minute, she was ready to play.

During her 5 years of life, my niece has never liked eating meat, and she is not alone. ABC news reported this summer that an increasing number of young people are choosing a vegetarian diet, and research is showing that it is a healthy diet for growing kids.

Dr. Amy Joy Lanou in the Houston Chronicle (June 25, 2007) writes

According to the American Dietetics Association, there is no need to introduce any meats, eggs or dairy products into an infant, toddler or child's diet. Well-planned vegan and vegetarian diets not only provide all the nutrients necessary to support growth, they also promote good health in childhood and start disease prevention early.
Just think about the advantages of raising a child on a diet rich in fruits, vegetables, grains & legumes. Limiting or avoiding consumption of fish sticks & tuna sandwiches reduces mercury consumption and the resulting risk of cognitive and behavioral problems. Choosing nondairy milks such as rice, soy or oat milk significantly lowers consumption of saturated fat and growth hormones given to cows to increase milk production. Substituting vegan sausage for bacon or pork sausage increases healthy fiber & sidesteps fattening & artery-clogging animal fats.
That all sounds pretty darn responsible to me.

Sounds pretty responsible to me, too. So, I undermined my brother-in-law tonight. But when my niece doesn't want to eat the dead animal flesh on her plate, it's the only responsible thing a vegan can really do.
.

Dining decisions

Before choosing a vegetarian diet (let alone a vegan lifestyle), I never enjoyed eating out with the "high maintenance" foodie, the picky person, who won't eat this, or isn't in the mood for that, for whatever reason. Typically, the "high maintenance one" becomes the default, determining factor of where a group will eat as all attention is consumed by his or her dietary needs or concerns.

Personally, I never liked being the center of that much attention, especially when it comes to food, and for that reason I spent half a year as a "closet vegetarian". I would eat as a vegetarian on my own and would only cook veg meals, but when out with friends, whether in a home or at a restaurant, I would eat as a carnivore, if needed.

Though that is no longer the case since I "came out" of the vegetarian closet, I still do not like being the "high maintenance one" and the center of a group's restaurant decision. With the holidays upon us, friends wanting to eat out, and folks trying to understand vegan-me, more and more I am getting pigeon holed as the "high maintenance one" and I don't like it.

With my diet the center of the decision, I now hear deliberations like:
- "Wait, we can't go there. There may be no vegetarian options."
- "If we can go here, there may be nothing for you to eat."
- "Are you be OK with (fill in the blank)? We don't want you to starve."

My "broken record" response: "Don't worry about me. I can always find something to eat."

And thus far, that has been my reality. As a vegan or a vegetarian when dining out, I've learned that a combination of appetizers does make a very good meal, most anywhere you may go.

This week, for example, Japanese was the plan, as the conclusion of my friends was: "You should be able to find a vegetarian entrée there." The sad reality: No. Other than vegetable tempura (which is too fried for my healthy taste buds), there were no other vegetarian entrees. But appetizers do make a good meal, as I enjoyed Oshitashi (cold Japanese spinach salad), edamame, and a garden sushi roll with mango, avocado, radish. Pretty yummy, especially with my "heavy on the wasabe, light on the soy sauce" mixture.

When creating a meal out of appetizers, knowing what your body needs for a healthy diet is the simple key. For me, it is typically a ring of 3: a vegetable, a carb, and a protein. And at most restaurants, I can usually find appetizers that have what I need to make a meal, even at a Texas Barbecue!

To celebrate my dad's birthday, my family wanted to celebrate his 70th at a restaurant we knew he would enjoy. My mom's recommendation and thus our choice: the newly remodeled Back Forty Texas BBQ restaurant in Pleasant Hill.

I checked out the on-line menu and knew what I would order even before we arrived at the restaurant and were seated in our own little private room for this special occasion. My family was happy as they enjoyed an assortment of barbecued dead animal flesh, and I was happy with my appetizer meal of vegetable soup, BBQ beans, and sweet potato fries.

I am learning that appetizers can and do make a yummy meal when eating out with non-vegetarian friends at MOST restaurants. But sometimes, when the crowd is craving L & L Hawaiian Barbecue (like my friends were on Thursday), thank God that there was a Chipotle and a vegetarian burrito next door!

Vegan: It's what's for dinner

Since becoming a vegan, eating over at friends' homes has been a learning process, both for the host and for me. Before my "conversion", the family cook would prepare some kind of meat, and that's what would be for dinner, for everyone at the table. Now, the process includes, "So, what do you eat these days?"

Typically, the meals served consist of "add-ons" for me -- vegan side dishes to complement what everyone else is eating. And typically, the reason for the "add-on" to the centerpiece meat dish is "the kids". For example, early last week, fettuccini with marinara was the "add-on" to go with the cheese ravioli, chicken cacciatore, and baked fish. And on Friday at a friend's birthday dinner, there was a well-stocked salad, but edamame was the "add-on" for me, as a substitute for the baked chicken.

Eating in the homes of friends, I've learned to not ask questions. I let the cook cook, and then eat whatever is served with no questions or complaints. We may talk about the butter, milk or eggs they added to the dish afterwards, but trying to educate a carnivore on a vegan diet while they're rushing around the kitchen is not the best way to maintain a friendship. I've grown accustomed to looking for "my dish", and appreciating my friends' "add-on" attempts to accommodate my dietary choice.

Thus, I was surprised last week when I had dinner with friends whom I've not seen for a while. They purchased a new home and invited me for dinner. The last time we shared a meal I was a carnivore and they were married with one child. Two more children and vegan-me later, she wanted to cook. Through email, she tried to wrap her mind around what I now eat.
- "Can I bring something?" I asked.
- "Sure, bring dessert, something simple like fruit or jello."
I referred her to my jello blog. What would I be eating for dinner?

When I arrived, she was busy in the kitchen chopping and mashing. Dad gave me the tour. While he took the youngest one (19 months) for a walk to get her to nap, I played with the two boys (ages 7 & 3). When dad returned, he asked the question I had been waiting for.
- "What's for dinner?"
- "Vegan shepherd pie" came the kitchen response.
I was waiting for the other dishes that would go with this vegan "add-on", but to my surprise, there weren't any. Vegan shepherd pie would be "what's for dinner"... for everyone.

And it was a dinner that was enjoyed by everyone. It was excellent! The oldest polished off his plate and scooped up seconds, while the youngest one managed to get more in her mouth than on her face. Dad, who didn't care for the texture of the topping, did like the vegetable-bean filling, and scooped under the cauliflower-millet mixture to get his seconds, and his thirds.
- "This is definitely going into the dinner rotation," mom announced.
- "With no topping on part of it, please" came dad's rebuttal.

It was only the 3 year old who wasn't in the mood to eat his dinner. My friends have raised their kids to eat what is served them. "They have a choice," my friend says. "They can choose to eat what mom has made or not, and if not, they can go to sleep hungry. It's their choice." And since the choice of "no dinner" is also a choice of "no dessert", the kids have learned to eat and enjoy what's on their plate.

Thus, with food still on his plate, and mom opening up for the other two kids the vegan chocolate chip cookies I brought, he finished what he needed to eat (with a little help from me, feeding him), and he enjoyed his cookie (and a second one, too!)

Since becoming a vegan, eating over at friends' homes has been a learning process. My hosts for dinner this past week learned that vegan meals are not only healthy, but yummy and easy to prepare. I learned that eating vegan doesn't need to be an "add-on" to a meal for carnivores. It can be the whole meal! Kids are not the only ones who eat what they have learned to eat.

MY VEGGIE TALE: Part 2 - a running story

(For Part 1 - a weight loss story - see October 21, 2007)

After losing 25 pounds in 6 months at the end of 2004, as an "overweight, unhealthy vegetarian" turned "balanced-diet, exercising carnivore", I was feeling good. I felt like I could do anything - well, almost anything.

I heard about the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society's Team In Training, which is the world's largest endurance sports training program. In early 2005, I received informational material about TNT in the mail, and wondered if running a marathon was something I could do. I attended the meeting in January, and decided on a whim to do it -- to raise money for the organization, and to train with them to run a marathon, or to be more specific, a HALF-marathon. 13.1 miles seemed doable by May, but 26.2? I wasn't so sure.

When I first began "running", it was really more walking than running. I would run a block than walk a block (or 2). Little old Chinese ladies were passing me on my walk-run route along the Great Highway in San Francisco, but I was committed. Everyday before heading to work, I was out there. I was so excited the day I realized that I had run more of my 3 mile route, than I had walked! And when I finally ran my 3 miles without stopping (which includes a half-mile UP HILL), I ate chocolate cake and I didn't feel guilty!

There is, however, a big difference between my 3 miles and a half-marathon -- a 10.1 mile difference to be more exact. The enormity of my task slowly began to settle in the week before our first TNT training. Not wanting to putz out on our first run, I pushed myself a few days before our first Saturday training, and injured myself by straining (what I would find out later to be) my IT band. It was going to be a long spring.

Through the first weeks of training 3 days a week, I would heal, but then re-injure myself as I pushed myself harder than I should. I was getting anxious about being able to run the distance.

It reached a point where the coach said, "Stop it", and I took 2 weeks off to allow my IT to heal completely. The rest did it, and with the strengthening work I was doing with a foam core roller, there was still time for me to train smart and finish the race. And I did, on May 7, 2006 at the Ave of the Giants Half-Marathon in Humboldt County. It took me 2 hours, 13 minutes, and 43 seconds; I hurt my knee at mile 11 and ended up run-walking to the finish, but I did it!

And I was hooked. I got home, registered for the inaugural San Jose Rock-n-roll Half-Marathon in October, and after allowing my knee to heal, I kept at my running, using the training techniques my TNT coaches had taught me, and the principles for "injury-free running" which I was learning through chi-running. On October 8, 2006, I broke 2 hours, running the 13.1 miles in 1:57:42.

In between those 2 races, by my 41st birthday on June 26th, I had dropped another 15 pounds. It took an extra year, but I finally lost the 40 pounds I had wanted to lose by the time I turned 40. I felt like I could NOW do anything, and so I did it. The day after the San Jose Half-marathon, I signed up for my first marathon - the 2007 San Francisco marathon - the FULL marathon, 26.2 miles. Would I be able to do it? I had until July - 9 months - to find out.

Stay tuned for Part 3 of my Veggie-tale, and discover how the carnivore runner transforms into a vegan marathoner.

Poem: THERE IS MUCH TO LEARN

Today is the first Sunday in Advent, a season of preparation when Christ is born anew in our hearts, our homes, and our world at Christmas. Traditionally, candles representing hope, peace, love, and joy are lit the four Sundays before Christmas, when the Christ candle in the center of the Advent wreath is lit.

Through a devotion and a book I read this morning, I was inspired to write a poem. Trees like Advent candles have much to teach us about the spirit of Christ who is to be in the center of this season. The words came together on an early morning run, and while sitting by a small lake in the neighboring town of La Honda.

In the hustle and bustle of the holidays, may the Creator fill your heart with the spirit of Christ as you stop and take time to listen and learn from the trees this Christmas.

There is much to learn of HOPE

from trees whose roots wander deep
through crevices in the earth.

There is much to learn of FAITH
from trees whose age-old trunks unite
what is seen above with unseen things below.

There is much to learn of JOY
from trees whose branches reach out
to the heavens in praise.

There is much to learn of LOVE
from trees who lay their seeds down
as a blessing of new life.

There is much to learn of PEACE
from trees in the silent wisdom of the forest
and the beauty created within.

There is much to learn from trees.
When you stop and listen, they teach.

by Vegan Me (12/02/07)

A new Thanksgiving tradition

Families have their traditions during the holidays, and for my mom's side of the family, our tradition is (in a word): POTLUCK.

With 48 people when everyone gathers, there is often quite a spread. But with only 3 vegetarians and vegan-me, we are out numbered, and at times "out eaten" by the meat-eaters. Such was the situation last Thanksgiving.

While we had each brought a dish last year, one of my vegetarian cousins waited until the end of the line to get food and ended up with a fairly sparse dinner plate. The vegetarian entrées had been devoured by the carnivores in our family! So much for seconds for the rest of us.

To prevent this from happening again, I thought about putting signs next to our vegetarian dishes this year. With creative juices flowing, my first round of signs included masterpieces like:
• "Do not eat. This has no meat."
• "Last year we starved, eat the dead turkey you carved."
• "No animals were killed or exploited in the preparation of this dish."

Not the best PR tactic to share the values of a plant-based diet with my family. Thus, my second round signs were more positive.
• "Life is sweet when you don't eat meat."
• "It's really good. Try it, you should."

Positive signs, however, seemed to defeat the purpose of ensuring enough food to feed those in my family who have chosen to not eat meat, and in my case, to not eat animal products. Because my third round sign - "vegetarian entrée" - simply seemed too boring, I knew a new approach was needed.

Thanksgiving is a time to be thankful for all God has given, yet it is also a time of sharing. Rather than hoard what we have and say, "You can't eat this", Thanksgiving should be a time to share the bounty of our blessings. There is a bounty in non-meat dishes, and there is a blessing I've discovered as a vegan. I want to share these with my family. Thus, rather than "make signs" this Thanksgiving, I decided instead to "make extra".

I made an extra-large vegan pasta primavera casserole; and I brought extra loaves of whole grain bread, and an extra salad with almonds, sunflower seeds, and soy dressing, to off set the salad my aunt was bringing, which I assumed (and assumed correctly) would be Caesar.

My vegetarian cousins were also thinking along the same lines as myself for each of them also decided to "make extra". Each brought a vegetarian dish and an extra vegan dish for me. (How thoughtful they are!) Thus, along with my dishes, our vegetarian spread included a vegetarian lasagna, vegan coconut curry, millet, scalloped potatoes, and vegan pesto pasta salad (along with miscellaneous non-meat sides my other relatives brought). It was more than enough food and all quite yummy, as more people in my family are discovering the joy in eating meatless dishes.

Rather than running out of food and being famished this Thanksgiving, we shared the blessings of non-meat entrees with our family and everyone feasted. More importantly we added a vegetarian twist to our family potluck tradition. Our new tradition: MAKE EXTRA!

Restaurant review: GARDEN FRESH

One would think a restaurant named "Garden Fresh" would feature a salad bar, whole fruits and vegetables, and even a raw foods menu. Fortunately, for me and my friends this weekend, we went to this Mountain View hole-in-the-wall, knowing we would be eating at a popular Chinese vegetarian/vegan restaurant. With veggies covered in typical Chinese sauces, spices, and stir-fry, we simply trust that the vegetables served were really "garden fresh".

If you are looking for a place that serves dishes that taste and look like a "traditional" Chinese restaurant (yet without meat), this is the place for you. For me and my dining companions (3 meat eaters, 1 vegetarian, and vegan-me), this was the perfect place. Though we enjoyed a tasty, reasonably priced, Chinese vegetarian meal with good service, personally, I am not into "mock meat" meals and deep-fried dishes.

Our dinner began with appetizers. For the price ($2.50 for 4), the Taro Spring Rolls were nothing to write home about. Filled with cabbage, they were small and too oily for my taste. However, the Scallion Pancakes were delicious with a light drizzling of sweet and sour sauce and carrots on the side. They were also not as greasy as similar pancakes in other places. It makes sense why one of our friends says, "These pancakes are what this place is known for."

Along with the 2 appetizers, we ordered 4 family-style dinner entrées for the 5 of us. The dishes were good size, and there was plenty to eat with brown rice served as the "default" rice.

According to the meat-eating fiancé of the vegetarian who frequents this place, one dish we had to order was the Vegetarian Curry Chicken. So we did. "The first time I had this," she said, "I wouldn't have guessed it wasn't chicken." After trying it, one of the other meat-eaters agreed. After my first bite, however, I knew those chunks weren't chicken, but soy bean gluten, and definitely not to my liking. While the curry sauce was mild, but tasty, I definitely did not care for the dish, which really did not need the "chicken". More vegetables or some tofu chunks in the sauce would have been just fine for me.

While the "chicken" in the curry did not measure up in my estimation as a "meat substitute", the soy bean gluten vegi-pork did. The deep frying of the "meat chunks" probably helped, but the sauce was very balanced, not too sweet, all served on a generous portion of broccoli. It was the first platter that was cleaned.

The two dishes I especially enjoyed were the dishes that were not trying to be something else. The Tofu Delight was delightful, with tofu and vegetables in black bean sauce. And the Kun Pao Eggplant was a "wow", with a nice hot and spicy kick, which complemented the Japanese eggplant, tofu, bell peppers, and water chestnuts. (This was my entrée choice and I think it was the winner!)

Overall it was a good dinner, and I will definitely go back to the place. There are lots of dishes I want to try, like the Stuffed Chinese Cabbage Deluxe or the 100 Layer Tofu, but you can be sure the Roasted Vegetarian Chicken will not be one of them.

Another reason

"Another reason to cut down on eating beef!" This was the reaction of a friend as we came across this scene at Sunol Regional Wilderness.

A group of us went camping this weekend, and while hiking along the Canyon View and McCorkle trails, we saw this mother and her baby calf having brunch while herds of cattle freely roamed and grazed on the hillsides.

Strolling carefully so to avoid the cows and cow patties on the trail, we had opportunity to reflect and talk about our meat consumption, other vegans my friends know, my reasons for consuming a plant-based diet, and some facts I am learning about the meat industry.

According to the US Environmental Protection Agency, a single dairy cow produces about 120 pounds of wet manure per day, which is equivalent to the waste produced by 20–40 people. That means California’s 1.4 million dairy cows produce as much waste as 28–56 million people!

"Unlike human waste," Eric Schlosser writes in Fast Food Nation, "the manure is not sent to a treatment plant. It is dumped into pits, huge pools of excrement that the industry calls 'lagoons.' The amount of waste left by the cattle that pass through Weld County (the home of ConAgra, the nation's biggest meatpacking complex) is staggering." (p. 150)

While CO2 gets most of the press for being the cause of global warming, according to EarthSave, many other greenhouse gases trap heat far more powerfully than CO2, with methane from cows and their manure responsible for nearly as much global warming as all other non-CO2 greenhouse gases put together.

Methane is 21 times more powerful a greenhouse gas than CO2, and the number one source of methane worldwide is animal agriculture. The United Nations agrees reporting in 2006 that cattle-rearing generates more global warming greenhouse gases than transportation.

In the last 50 years, beef consumption world-wide has dramatically increased, and is today one leading cause of global warming. Thus, one less steak consumed will eventually lead to one less cow raised and killed, and ultimately less methane released into the air helping to save the changing climate of our little planet called earth.

EarthSave concludes: "arguably the best way to reduce global warming in our lifetimes is to reduce or eliminate our consumption of animal products." To which, I agree.

"And besides that," my friend replied, "cows are cute!"

The most of every opportunity

"Do you eat jello?" my goddaughter asked me a few days ago. My knee-jerk answer: "No, not really", to which she immediately responded with the ever persistent, "Why?"

Though she is now 11 years old and in middle school, she will always be 5 years old in my eyes. Knowing jello is made out of cow bones, I thought that might be too much information for her, so I replied nonchalantly, "I just don't like it" and proceeded to get a glass of water.

I thought that was the end of the jello conversation until dinner when she asked me, "Did you know that jello is made out of cow bones?" "Yes," I replied, probably sounding a bit shocked. "That's the reason why I don't eat jello," I explained.

When I asked her how she learned the truth about jello, my meat-eating goddaughter proceeded to give me a vegetarian lesson.

On an extra-curricular class trip, their school advisor took them to a restaurant, which served jello. While the kids were eating, the teacher told them where jello comes from. This fact caused one of the girls to spit out the jello in her mouth. Many in the group proclaimed that they would never eat jello again.

"Jello has never tasted the same since then," she told me. "I don't eat it anymore."

I discovered in that moment that a child is never too young to learn the realities of the source of their food and develop values which respect creation, and every living thing the Creator has made. With the next generation, it is important to make the most of every opportunity, especially when questions from young voices are heard. I almost missed this opportunity.

By choosing to not eat jello, my goddaughter (who liked eating fruit more than meat when she was young) has moved one step closer to following in my footsteps as a vegan. I'm so proud!

When values collide

I am on an 8-day Franciscan Retreat at San Damiano in Danville, CA. We are studying Bonaventure's work, "The Journey of the Human Person into God". In preparation for this extended time away, I informed the coordinator of the retreat facility about my diet as a vegan. She was very understanding, and wanted to ensure that my physical needs were met while on this spiritual journey.

At our first meal, I was pleasantly surprised to find that the dining room had a table set aside with vegetarian/vegan items along with a tofu stir-fry as our entry. There has been peanut butter, whole wheat bread, fruit, and soy milk at every meal, oatmeal at breakfast, and for lunch one day, they even made homemade black bean burgers with fresh chili sauce. Yummy!

Meals were going very well during this retreat until dinner on day 4.

I was at the first table dismissed for dinner that evening. The veg option that night was a little slow coming out so I had to wait. After walking all afternoon I was hungry, so when the entry arrived (it looked like another tofu stir-fry), I scooped two large spoonfuls onto my plate without thinking or really looking. While in conversation with folks at the table, I took a bite and paused, then took a second bite and stopped, and thought, "Some thing does not taste right here." I looked carefully at what I had been eating and realized that my suspicions were correct.

What I thought were pieces of tofu were actually big chunks of fish!!

For the first 4 days of the retreat, we had been eating our meals in silence. This dinner on night 4 was a special celebration of our senses, and with the vow of silence lifted, everyone was talking and chatting, getting to know people, and enjoying the meal and special wines that were also served just for this occasion. Everyone was having a great time at that moment except me.

With the taste of fish in my mouth, a large serving covering nearly half my plate, and conversation swirling all around me, I found myself trying to quickly process an ethical quandary of what to do. (Drinking a glass of wine on an empty stomach also didn't help!)

I realized that for the first time, 2 important values were colliding in my life, and a decision of what to do needed to be made.

• Do I not eat what was on my plate, and thus throw away the fish and honor my vegan commitment?
• Or do I eat the fish on my plate, and thus honor my commitment to the environment and those who are hungry by not wasting food (aka not taking or using more than I need)?

"What to do? What to do?" I first acted on impulse, got up and asked the dining room staff if this was fish. They of course said, "Yes." I then asked if there were any other vegetarian or no meat options and they said, "No." This was the dinner entry they had.

"What to do? What to do?" I then went to Esther, our logistics person who works with the retreat center staff. As she was dismissing tables to the buffet line, I informed her that the vegetarian meal was fish and suggested that she let the other vegetarians know before others make the same mistake I did. She said she wasn't sure who the other veggies were, but she would keep it in mind. She said she would eventually talk to the kitchen staff about it.

"What to do? What to do?" What I wanted to do was eat. I was hungry. Thus, walking back to my seat, I decided since I was on retreat and out of my "normal routine", it would be best to "grin and bear it", and eat what was on my plate.

With each bite, however, I felt guilty and defeated. My vegan commitment was falling by the wayside at this meal. My hunger, my pride, my not wanting to appear wasteful, all the social pressure of the happy carnivores at the table enjoying their tri-tip -- it all contributed to my "falling off the wagon".

I felt like I had no choice, but in reality, I did. I could have made a peanut butter sandwich if I wanted something else to eat. Throwing all the fish away would have opened up a good conversation about the value of vegan/vegetarian diet. I could have asked the kitchen to provide something else for me to eat. I could have offered what I had not yet eaten to someone at the table. In retrospect, there were other choices, but I couldn't see them. (I blame that on the wine!)

Though I ate everything on my plate, I did not enjoy my meal which was to be a celebration of the sense of taste. As I put down my fork and breathed a sigh of relief that the ethical agony of eating this meal was over, I noticed that one of the kitchen staff came out with a plate and brought it to Esther. As a peso-vegetarian, she eats fish and was content with her veg option. She motioned to me as John walked my way with a huge plate of stir-fried veggies and tofu. Without even asking, he removed my empty plate, and said, "I hope this will be more to your liking."

With another full plate in front of me, I thus began my second dinner. Though I was initially hungry, I wasn't THAT hungry! Since plate one was eaten because of my desire not to waste food, I felt like plate two needed to be cleaned to honor that same conviction. I picked up the fork to eat again. I was very full by the time that second plate was empty, and like the first plate, I cleaned it but I didn't enjoy it. Something was bothering me.

The plate of fish was actually very tasty, but I could not savor it because I felt like I would be violating some great "vegan law" if I enjoyed eating the meat. The plate of stir-fry tofu was also very tasty, but I could not enjoy it because I was full, and felt like if I had controlled my hunger, not rushed to get to eating, and looked at what I was putting on my plate, I could have expressed my vegan needs to the kitchen, remained true to my vegan conviction, and would not have to overdose on a second plate of food.

We've been studying the writings of Bonaventure during this retreat. And for Bonaventure, everything comes in 3's. While I thought there were only 2 values colliding during the meal that evening, there really was a third.

The third value, which should really be my first value as I have been reminded of by Bonaventure and Francis of Assis during this retreat, is: God is our Summum Bonum (highest good). Or as we might say today: "God is good, all the time."

Bonaventure writes that when our "human desire is directed at nothing but the supreme Good, or that which leads to it or reflects that Good in a certain way, ... the power of choice leads to the highest Good (Summum Bonum)." (The Journey of the Human Person Into God, chapter 3, paragraph 4).

Thus, even if I mistakenly eat meat and enjoy it, God is Summum Bonum. God will redeem what I have chosen, and make good that situation.
- Even if I waste a plate of food out of conviction, or even make a poor decision about what I put on my plate and in my mouth, God is still Summum Bonum.
- Even when values and convictions collide and I must make one choice of what to do, God is still Summum Bonum - whatever my decision.
- God is good all the time. And all the time God is good, and for that, I am thankful, for in all situations, I choose to give my Creator praise.
Even as a vegan, that is to be my first choice, my highest value.

MY VEGGIE TALE: Part 1 - a weight loss story

My vegan life officially began in June 2007 on my 42nd birthday. While there is nothing magical about June 26th, my birthday does create a line, which I've used to mark significant life-changing decisions. A big one came on my birthday in 2004 as I turned 39 and gave up a vegetarian diet to become a meat-eater again.

Believe it or not, the first part of this veggie tale begins as a weight loss story as a carnivore!

In 2003, I was a partial vegetarian, limiting my meat consumption to one meal a day. I am not totally sure of the reason for the decision at that time, but the roots of my vegetarian convictions run deep (and I will eventually articulate them).

By the end of that year, I was down to about 1 meal with meat a week, however, my weight was up as my vegetarian diet consisted of lots of pasta and parmesan cheese. I was weighing in at 180-185, and on my 5'6" frame, I was looking rather round. I really didn't notice how much weight I had gained until I saw a picture I took with my godkids for Christmas. I looked big, but wrote it off to the angle of the camera.

I enjoy the outdoors and pride myself in being a backpacker. But in April 2004 on a hike for a friend's 40th birthday, something occurred which really got my attention. I hadn't been out hiking much that season. I knew I was out of shape, and had gained some weight, but I didn't think much about it. "I am a hiker," I said to myself. "I know how to do this stuff. I'll be OK."

Unfortunately, I was not OK. I was not doing well on the hike and didn't want to admit it. I blamed it on the warm weather, the steep inclines, the "getting over a cold", but I knew that wasn't the truth. I was in the rear huffing and puffing. I was out of shape, and all of a sudden, something clicked. If I want to keep hiking and backpacking, I knew I needed to do something to get into shape.

Thus, as I prepared to turn 39 in June 2004, I set as a goal to be "fit and 40" by my birthday in 2005. In a Men's Health magazine I picked up one day in a grocery store, I read about the Abs Diet. It intrigued me with the promise to "lose 10 pounds in 6 weeks." Could this diet really do that? I purchased the book by David Zinczenko, read it all in about a day, and decided to go for it.

Thus, as I turned 39 in June of 2004, I ceased my vegetarian diet which had caused the weight gain over the past few years. Would I be a sucker for empty promises? Only time would tell.

Though I had been a "partial vegetarian" before the Abs Diet, I was not eating a healthy diet. I was eating little to no protein, and lots of carbs. I liked desserts, and also enjoyed drinking Coke (and not the diet stuff). The Abs Diet began to teach me about nutrition.

The first thing I did was cut out soda, and I began to simplify my meals around the 12 power foods in the Abs Diet. I started an exercise plan beginning with weight training during the summer, and the initiation of running in September. It took me about 8 weeks to lose 10 pounds, but the diet started me on a journey of health and fitness, and as I continued to learn more about food and my body, by the end of that year I had dropped 25 pounds. I was feeling good.

Why I am a vegan

• Intellectually a vegan lifestyle makes sense as I choose to live a life of integrity in light of all that I have come to believe regarding my place in the fullness of all of God's creation.

But who am I, and who are my people, that we should be able to give as generously as this? Everything comes from you, and we have given you only what comes from your hand. We are foreigners and strangers in your sight, as were all our ancestors. Our days on earth are like a shadow, without hope. LORD our God, all this abundance ... comes from your hand, and all of it belongs to you. I know, my God, that you test the heart and are pleased with integrity. All these things have I given willingly and with honest intent. (1 Chronicles 29:14-17a TNIV)

I am vegan...
• Spiritually to honor God by caring for God's creation as a responsible steward of the earth, her resources, and all of her inhabitants.

He has shown all you people what is good. And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. (Micah 6:8 TNIV)

• Environmentally to reduce my carbon footprint as consumption of animal products is an inefficient use of water, land, and energy, and creates heavy pollution from livestock feces.

A single dairy cow produces about 120 pounds of wet manure per day, which is equivalent to the waste produced by 20–40 people. That means California’s 1.4 million dairy cows produce as much waste as 28–56 million people.
(U.S. EPA, "Notes from Underground," Fall 2001)

• Practically to do something about world hunger as a plant-based diet can feed significantly more people than a meat-centered diet.
[T]hose who claim to care about the well-being of human beings and the preservation of our environment should become vegetarians for that reason alone. They would thereby increase the amount of grain available to feed people elsewhere, reduce pollution, save water and energy, and cease contributing to the clearing of forests.
(Peter Singer, Animal Liberation, 1990)

• Physically to consume a healthier natural diet.

As much as possible, eat foods as they were created - before they are changed or converted into something humans think might be better. (Rex Russell, What the Bible Says About Healthy Living)

• Politically to not support self-serving business practices of large conglomerations that care only about profit with no regard for the environment, their workers, or customers.

If we're eating meat, we are paying people to be cruel to animals. (Father John Dear)

• Ethically to reduce the suffering of animals with whom I am connected as members of God's creation.

They (animals), too, are created by the same loving Hand of God which created us. It is our duty to protect them and to promote their well-being. (Mother Theresa)